Bear Science

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth perplex of a pension. He sits down and has a unite of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had sufficiently, and goes closed and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window defer, and having that halfwit accommodating knick-knack encircling the weird, notice as this man plummets to unfluctuating finish. On the other hand, upright as he is close by to hit the instruct, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes side with into the edifice. As a matter of course, the two men are amazed. The guy comes raw into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the handle. The two men at the window tokus are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the carry on AGAIN, the two men come to a stop him previous to he jumps and ask him how on blue planet he does that. He replies "It's sincere, actually. There's an air orifice down by the area, and if you come down with the updraft, you can hand yourself and get on the dregs with no problems." Then he proceeded to barricade out the window again. Thoroughly, these two men unquestioned that they solely HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! - made a disarray hitting all over the found. Meanwhile, the from the word go guy has made it subvene up to the bar. When he sits down to layout his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a natural - when you're exhilarated!"

Blondes talk:
- And how you think, what for by the helicopter put such big propeller?
- Oh, same the fan, it are necessary for this purpose that the pilot did not sweat!
- Bosh! You play me!
- No, not bosh. I more recently flied by the helicopter. And so before the landing, almost at the earth, this propeller suddenly took and has ceased to turn! You would see, how the pilot has sweated at once!

Funny circular: Due to St.Valentine's day cat castration with 50% discount!

The doctor:
- Tell, what forces you to get drunk every day?
- Nothing forces, I'm the volunteer.

- Why the blonde stand by the window when the lightning?
- She thinks that it is photograph!

- What do you sown?
- Good, wise, eternal...
- Cannabis!?!

- What is the problem of jokes about Obama?
- His supporters do not consider it ridiculous. Other people do not consider it jokes.

The most unhappy animal is octopus! His feet from the ass, and hands from the ass, and brain in the ass too ...

What will do blonde with oar?
-Dig them holes!

The real Claustrophobia - it's when you go to the toilet, feel the fear and getting all!

A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?"
The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?"

Abram to his wife:
- Sarah, why do you hang your bra to dry on the street? Children think that it is a hammock, and swing on it!

The hare sits on a hillock and smokes. By there is a cow and speaks:
- Such small and smoke!
The hare answers:
- Such big, and without a bra!

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.
He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

At start of the artificial companion in China 1.000.000 persons have received a hernia: 500.000 at draw elastic bands, 500.000 - from laughter. But has not done without tragedy. Approximately 50.000 persons, had not time to release an elastic band and have departed together with the companion.

It is new interesting flash quest - Steppen Wolf. You send in a dark cave to find out what's going on with people. Good luck!

Here comes an American doctor:
- Doctor, doctor, well you give me something to help hemorrhoids.
- So I was the last time you had already issued a candle?
- Discharged, but I can not use them.
- What can not be inserted?
- Insert I inserted, but the light, and could not.